I have learned a lot from your Hanen Programs. However, even though I know what I could do to help him, I have a hard time staying motivated to follow through consistently, especially now that I have completed the More Than Words Program. Do you have any suggestions?
First, the wonderful advantage to implementing the Hanen Program strategies is that you can build them right into your daily routines, so they become automatic. Try to find an opportunity within your daily activities where you could easily add the desired strategy/turn. Initially, you may need a visual cue to remind you to consistently implement the strategy, however, with practice, it will eventually become a natural part of your routine.
If motiation is your issue, you may want to check our Brendon Burchard's new book, The Motivation Manifesto. In his book, Brendon explains that motivation isn't something we have, but something we can create in ourselves. “If we lack compelling reasons to take action, or if our impulses are fearful or protective, then we tend to stay put (feel stuck). “
If you are having difficulty creating the motivation to follow through with activities/strategies you feel are important for your child, consider the following:
- What is your reason for wanting to help your child at home? Do you have a clear and concise reason, or is it based more on a feeling – feeling guilty, or feeling that as a parent it is something you should do? Instead, think about WHY you want to help your child? What are the benefits?
- Clarity drives motivation. Would you be more motivated if your focus was clearer? For example, a general goal might be something like, I want to help my child become a better communicator. However, if you are more specific, you will know when your child is beginning to have success. For example, I will help my child initiate interactions at home, so he can initiate interactions at school (i.e., initiate interactions with peers to play/build friendships, initiate interactions with teacher/staff, if he needs help or reassurance). When we focus on the small steps leading to a bigger goal, the child's progress will help keep us motivated. If our goal is unclear, or so broad that it takes months to accomplish, it will be more difficult for us to remain motivated.
- In order to maintain our motivation, we must believe it can happen or that we can make it happen. Many times our fears get in the way of us believing that things can change. As a result, we remain stuck - maintaining the status quo. If this is true for you, create smaller goals. As you see your child become more successful, you will become focused on what your child can do, and less fearful of the unknown. This will naturally create more positive energy and motivation for you to continue to help your child.
- Create a network or partnership of support. Ask a friend(s) (from your Hanen program or from your child's class) to meet regularly, so you can help support one another in reaching your goals, as well as, taking care of yourselves and living stress-free, in-balance.
- Click on the button below to subscribe to my Quick Tips to get regular reminders of some of the strategies.